It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Although I could list of a diatribe of reasons (all of them very good :)) I will not because it is not important why I haven’t but why I am now. I feel that I am on the right track to mental wellness. I went the shrink for the first time in almost a year, earlier this week. I find that the going to the shrink is like having professional cleaners in. I can clean, and I don’t do to bad a job at it when I do, but professionals, do it quicker and far better that I can.
Psychologists just help release the mental dams that are created during life’s events and start mental flush. I am still amazed at what the human brain can do to itself. Some of it in self preservation; what I don’t know can’t kill me although really I know. And sometimes as with a sudden unexpected lost or trauma it seems to be like a computer that keeps running through the same steps to get somewhere, but like a computer it freezes up and needs a serious reboot. Over the last few years I have created many self preservation blocks within my noggin and although I do believe I could eventually release them all, I think that going to the shrink will some how speed up the process. It is like having to heads look at the same problem undoubtedly they will come to a solution faster than one alone.
Another part in my growing and getting well is surrounding myself with extremely high caliber people. People that are non judgmental and that have seen enough of the world and have experienced enough to be able to help me on my journey. I can’t thank my friends enough for helping me work my way through a very dark time in my life. I’m finally at a t point where I am not desperately trying to search for a sense of who I am. I’ve started a nebulous of foundation on which to build my next great empire.
One of the best things that has happened to my psyche is that I no longer feel so desperately alone, for a while there it was awful. The loneliness was the hardest thing that I have had to work through. Sure there are lonely days and sometimes I feel a lone. I don’t feel so utterly lost. I have an inkling of where the path is and I know that it will only get clearer.
high calibre people are very important, though it can be a little depressing to go through and figure out what that really means based on the… ah… available resources. i probably shouldn’t put my name on this comment!
s.
S. both you and T. have been a great suport to me and helped me on the road to a better, healthier me. Thanks
For the last few months I have stepped away from blogging because I’ve wanted to close myself off from sharing the things I am going through. Reading your blog this morning is helping me realize what I’ve been feeling lately is that I need to get back to being more open.
There is more I would like to say, but I feel too inarticulate to write it. I hope you continue to do well. 😉